To whom I love


To whom I love,
Regarding your yesterday’s request I thought of writing a letter to you. Now the time is 7.26 p.m. and I feel that, this is the best time of the day to write to you the hidden thoughts I was waiting to share with you.
Let me take you back to the days I met you. Myself, a stranger met you, in a place which does not belong to me. The day I met you I never expected, us to end up this way.
I still say that you were a package, which included love, laugher, friendship, knowledge, anger, tears and finally faith. Those, days I was strong than you were strong, I spoke when you were unspoken I laughed when you smiled and I was naughty when you were calm, finally I made you mine before you made me yours.
Let me say something I never said before, I took tremendous efforts to awaken the real man who was dying inside you, because I knew there was one romantic man hidden inside. The journey of your conversion was a bit hard time for you. May be you never knew that. Thanks to amma, she had taught me that patience it the most valuable Jewell a girl can wear around her neck. I was stick to her words and watched your conversion in a calm and quite mood that was appearing to outside as naughty and loud
To be honest, I expected nothing. Truly I expected nothing. I fought from the beginning to the end.
I loved to hear you, to see you, to talk to you, to walk with you and to laugh with you. Deep discussions I had with you were the best hours I spent in my life. We discussed about nature, about love, about poverty, about music and especially about our past. They added colors to my life. I now miss those.
Actually I was not greedy for you that made me respect almost all the decisions you made, both mindful and utterly foolish. I kept quiet in front of such foolish decisions as I knew at least I was there to die with you as the final result of the biggest foolish decision that you would ever make.
But I honestly admit that, your worst foolish decision was far visor than my mindful decisions.
I was ready, not to keep you by force but to set you free if you wanted that freedom.
Finally, on one day thanks to Karma You made me yours before I made you to be mine. That day I learnt what love is. I shed tears so you did, You touched my hand so I did, I hugged you tight so I did, you kissed my head so I did , you loved me the most so that I did. Every sentence you spoke had a rhyme. Life was put in every kiss.
At last you whispered on my heart, “Miss today you look very nice as you are in white”. On that one particular day you made me your Mrs.
Yes, together we started the so called life. Ups and downs beautified our lives. I felt the life of first three months of marriage as a training to life. But dear Mr., You must admit later, I became the queen of cooking and cleaning that you were under my arms. I loved it. Thank you, you taught me the life. Specially I respect the ups and downs which beautified our lives. There were nights I was without food, there were days we did not have at least a cent to spend on us. We together had spent all our money on the wellbeing of the society. Even though we were hungry for days still we were happy with life that led hunger to get vanished.
I’m thankful to you, because you gave me your hand to help the poor people who were in my need.
After several years there were little faces which were the blessings we had. From the day the eldest visited my womb I had the only responsibility of carrying her. You were the one to look after her. To feed her, to lull her and finally to be the strength on my delivery. If it was not you by my side I could have died in pain. Every respect goes to you, you helped me making our kids to be good human beings by now. I’m happy they look like you do, they act like you do, they behave like you do, they see the world like you do specially I love to see the way they smile like you do. I have the question what do they do like I do????
The day you lost your mom I knew I’m going to be her. That day you lost your father I knew I’m going to be him. To be your wife to be your mom to be your dad to be your friend and to be the mother of your kids was not an easy task. But I think I did my best.
I’m very happy there were no days that we had arguments because I was ready to say yes to every decision even though you were never ready to say yes to my every decision. I was too good in patience to tolerate with some of your stubborn decisions. I did so because I knew my kids should never deserve loud mornings and nights. They always had a nice night sleep and en energetic morning. Our lucky kids have now become mentally balanced adults. I believe the calm and quiet life we gave them have made their lives a success so far.
Time flew fast and we became old. The love between us grew so tight with time.
I swear that I have never spoken against you. I was honest with every word and thought. You were the first and I was the second. I’m happy I met you, I loved you, I waited for you and I got married to you.
You are made second only by my daddy whom I believe as the king of my life. No one else can come closer to the place of my heart which is curved for you. Even our own children.
My dear Mr. Husband I always wanted one thing to happen in my life. To die before you do. I could have never watched you die. I hated to see you get hurt even by a little mosquito bite. So tell me how would watch you die. May be you never knew that, when a woman loves a man she does every- thing to see him happy. So how can a loving wife watch her husband die?
I kept every promise I gave you.
Yesterday’s request made by you is a bit hard to me my dear husband. I’m sorry I will never ever will keep the promise of letting you to be the first to close eyes eternally. I know the life will be hard to you without me but I promise our female kids will look after you to the best. I know they love more than they do to me. That makes me the happiest women. I wanted you to be loved by the entire world more than I’m loved.
I’m sorry for the first time in life I go against you.
There is no life without you.
Thank you
Your wife.