Dear present me,
Hey, there girl! It’s me. How are you doing? First of all, I need to tell you that you’re doing well kiddo. Don’t worry. If you feel down, just remember this, as once a best friend of mine told me, “these are the days you must live”. However, I’m not here to give you any advice or to change anything. This letter has a different purpose. Knowing you, I know you’ll do the same thing, even I tell you otherwise. You’re doing fine. Have faith and everything will turn out perfectly the way they need to be.
I’m writing this letter because I just want to give you something. A small note. You’ll be needing it alright and by the time you might not be able to gather your thoughts properly to put them into words. So, I wrote it down for you. Just use it when you need it. You’ll know when is the right time. You’ll just know. So, here we go.
“I think I fell in trouble. I became addicted to the most potent drug for a human being. A person. I got addicted to you. Missed you a lot. I got attached to you in ways I haven’t for someone in a long time. You took most of the space in my mind. I thought about you a lot. Got happy over the tiniest thing you did for me and got hurt the same way.
Most of the things I saw reminded me of you. I wanted to keep you to myself. I was a chronic over-thinker when it came to you. Before, I promised myself I won’t let myself feel like this for anyone unless I’m strong enough to embrace the consequences. But, you seemed to break down all the walls. I attracted to you in a very intimate way too. You gave me butterflies all the time. But I knew it wasn’t just a physical attraction.
I can’t tell what love is but, if this was it, then I fell in love with you. Everything felt to be falling into place when we handled them together. Like we had each other no matter what. Yet, whatever I did for the sake of that relationship I did, felt everything I felt, knowing perfectly that you won’t reciprocate them.
You did care. I knew that. But you didn’t feel that way about me. That is the truth I have to accept and live with. Knowing all those and that you would leave me soon, broke my heart into pieces.
I knew for a fact when you leave I would be devastated. Yet, that knowledge did little to help and it wasn’t easy at all. It didn’t make things any less hard or scarier. Still, I wanted to spend whatever little time I had, with you. Because, if not for love, even for the briefest of time, I found a friend in you. Simply because you were one of the best things ever happened to me and for that I’m glad.”
That would be it. Before I finish my letter, I just want to add something. Thank you, girl! Thank you for being brave and lovely. Most importantly, thank you for hanging on when it seemed impossible to. Keep going on. I love you!
Yours truly, future self.
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